Keperluan Sewaktu Balik Beraya!

Raya datang LAGI!

Disini, Saya Muhammad Akmal atau nama manjew Fred (ish gedik)..

Ingin mengucapkan Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir Batin kepada semua yg mengenali diri.

Klau ada salah dan silap tu, tolong ye maafkan.

kita Kosong -Kosong! hehe..

Okay, bila balik kampung nie. akan ada time bila BOSAN menghantui diri!

yelah, klau geng meriam buluh tak balik kampung, 

dkat Astro pun takde citer best, pastu klau awek2 takde dtg beraya.. bosan pun dtg..

so nak elakkan benda2 ni berlaku. 

Jgn lupa 10 BARANG KEPERLUAN SEWAKTU DI KAMPUNG.

NO 1 : LAPTOP

yg ni penting! bosan2, kau bukak main PES!!

silap2, beratur bdak2 lain nak main PES skali. pastu kirim salam jelah dkat laptop kau..

satu kampung akan duk hurung laptop kau je. hahah.. 

NO 2: BROADBAND

Saya pengguna Maxis broadbang.. stakat ni okay lah kelajuan.

janji aku dpat bukak facebook. tgk live score. baca blog. stalk nenek aku dkat facebook sudah.

better dari takde langsung tenet kan.

NO 3: DOWNLOAD MOVIE BANYAK2!

sebelum kau balik kampung lagi pastikan dah download movie secukupnya..

gunakan sifir 3!

1 hari balik kampung = 3 movie

2 hari balik kampung = 6 movie

yelah, sekali pagi, sekali petang, sekali malam..cukup r tu..

NO 4: MAJALAH

aku dah prepare 2 magazine aku nak baca dkat kampung. 

Mens Health dgn FHM (For Him Magazine).

line clear aku bukak FHM, line tak clear bukak Mens Health.

FHM tu bukan buku lucah. tapi front page dia tak bley blah!

tak bley klau tak sexy! astagha.. 

p/s : KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK FHM :)

August Edition Jay Menon. Woot Woot! September Edition bosan!

NO 5: iPOD / iPHONE / TAB / PORTABLE DEVICE

okay, bayangkan kau TERPAKSA ikut mak kau beraya dkat rumah kawan dia.

mulut pok pek, ckap merepek repek, citer psal anak dia meletup letup.

telinga kau pun dah merah, 

dlam kepala kau plak dah bukak citer Final Destination : Mak Cik Pokpek Edition.

kau dah byangkan 20 cara mcm mana nak bunuh makcik nie.

dari pada kau terus menyiksa diri, ambik earphone sumbat. dgr lagu raya dkat Mp3.

hati tenang, takde yg terkorban. takpun kau main Angry Bird utk kali ke 28!

NO 6: HANDPHONE DGN TOP UP BYK!

bosan2, pegi HaloO2 member kau di Pakistan.

tapi klau takde kredit, kau hantor je HP kau pegi pakistan.

tak guna gak klau takde kredit..

NO 7: MERCUN

Mercun + Bakar tak bagi tau org = TERKEJUT BERUK!

Gua ckap sama lu, aku tak pernah rasa Happy selain dari tgk org 

Terkejut Beruk!

aku boleh gelak 1/2 jam tanpa henti ingat psal muka dia jer..

so nasihat aku bosan2, kau bakar mercun bola dlam rumah. tgk sape tecirit.

klau tau ada family yg ada sakit jantung, lemah semangat tak pyah lah zalim sgt kan..

NO 8: KAD

Bwak lah uno ka, kad terup ka.. tapi nasihat aku.

JGN BAWAK BALIK MONOPOLY / SAIDINA!

boleh buat gaduh!! Hahaha..

tgk video nie :-

NO 9: BANTAL

bosan sgt, tahap Professor punya. Hampa tidoq lagi baguih! 

haha..

NO 10: BUKU NAK STUDY (skema rama)

3 Ayat jer aku bagi: TAK PAYAH POYO!

ahaha.. cmon lah, mmg tak dpat lah nak study time raya. 

esok SPM pun takde sape nak study time raya.

Enjoy dulu puas2, kasi sronok dulu. baru bley focus nak study. 

JOKE: You Can Never Please A Women

A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". 

Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. 

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. 

"We have 5 floors. 

Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. 

It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "ALL THE MEN ON THIS FLOOR ARE SHORT AND PLAIN." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "ALL THE MEN HERE ARE SHORT AND HANDSOME."

Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up...

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "ALL THE MEN HERE ARE TALL AND PLAIN". They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. 

On the fourth floor, the sign says: "ALL THE MEN HERE ARE TALL AND HANSOME. THEY ARE RICH AND PERFECTLY BUILT".

The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: 

"THERE ARE NO MEN HERE. THIS FLOOR WAS BUILT ONLY TO PROVE THAT THERE IS NO WAY TO PLEASE A WOMAN!"

Malu sudah! Haha.. Its only a joke. BUT the joke can maybe be real.

Again, i only talk with facts and life experiences.

had been and had also seen things like this happen.

even my man Tupac was on the same page..

"it wouldnt work, because i was too nice?"

Hahaha, its like the same as for the guy going to a job interview and the company saying;

"You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for but we're not going to hire you. we will however use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we are going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. and if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, BUT still not you. In fact we will never hire you. but we will call you from time to time to complain about that scumbag that we hired"

BACK AGAIN

"IM BACK!"

Haha.. Last post adalah time 27 May.

Bukan saje2 tak nak update. tapi takde masa dan tenaga..

Sem lepas serious HECTIC!

nak makan pun berjalan, tido pun mimpi buat assignment -.-"

lega dah habes, tapi still CUAK2 skit. 

TEST MACHINE DESIGN! Argh!!

lebih kurang mcm ni lah gaya aku dalam exam hall.

dah lah duduk depan skali. 

lecturer duk sembang psal buka puasa lah, psal raya lah.

langsung tak hormat, dah nampak aku tak bley buat. 

ajak lah sembang skali.

Arghh, pedulikan lah benda2 tu smua. skrg waktu bersuka ria.

sedih2 nanti time nak dpat result r. 

skrg, one of my main focus adalah nak update blog nie dgn bahan BAYEK!

a few topics dah pun di fikirkan, so just nak sit down & write.

harap2 aku tak dpat penyakit *writer's block

penyakit dimana seseorg itu blank. tak reti mcm mana nak mengarang.

tak bahaya. just headbang kepala dkat dinding sampai lebam jer.

paling2 teruk pun jadi mcm ni jer..

takpe, hensem lagi..

See you all very2 soon! Papai..